“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
This quote describes the essence of positive communication. Besides leaving an impression on the listener, positive communication provides health and wellness benefits for the speaker
Positive communication also “yields the potential to inspire people to achieve higher moments, greater good, and to act selflessly”
Let’s take a closer look at positive communication.
What Is Positive Communication?
Dale Carnegie (1998, p. 137) stated, “if you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart.”
Positive communication “is not defined as the absence of negative verbal and nonverbal communication, but rather the presence of positive, enhancing, and facilitative talk and gestures”
“Positive communication is unique in its ability to generate physical, social, and psychological health and wellness”
1. Positive emotions This includes emotions such as contentment, wellbeing, and satisfaction about past experiences; flow, ecstasy, and happiness in the present; and hope and optimism about the future.
2. Positive traits This domain offers information on the individual strengths and virtues and extends to talents and natural abilities.Traits such as resilience, forgiveness, optimism, self-esteem, self-efficacy, and hope These traits offer strength in tough times and various situations.
3. Positive institutions
The final lens through which we analyze positive communication is through the study of positive institutions and communities. This includes places of work and leisure but also encompasses abstract entities such as family, democracy, and free press.
Why Is Good Communication Important?
When we interact with a person who makes us feel loved or supported, oxytocin is released.Building trust and creating social bonds also release oxytocin
Speaking and listening are basic communication skills used daily that build connections with others. These skills help us process language so that we can interact with people.
“When we use these tools well, they help us create wonderful, growing, lasting relationships” Our personality development and mental and physical health are linked to the calibre of our communication.”
Positive Communication Skills:
Below are both verbal and nonverbal examples of positive communication that can enhance closeness and generate health and wellbeing.
Verbal positive communication
- Listening
It’s not just about listening, but listening deeply and fully. According to Newberg and Waldman (2012, p. 142) you must “train your mind to stay focused on the person who is speaking: their words, tone, gestures, facial cues–everything.”
Further, being fully listened to and understood is the most commonly cited communication value signifying depth in a relationship.
- Empathy Empathy is essential when engaging in positive communication. Being able to demonstrate empathy appropriately is vital – relationship gold.
Skills that enhance empathic listening include
- Quiet your mind to focus on the person speaking.
- Listen to them fully and openly.
- Listen through the words.
- Avoid interrupting them when they’re speaking.
- Use your own words to reflect back what you heard them say, including the emotional content of the message.
9 Techniques to Foster Positive Communication
One approach used to teach positive communication skills is the relationship enhancement (RE) approach, which focuses on conversation sharing, conflict resolution skills, and effective self- and other-changing techniques for enriching relationships
The method can be used to help clients express themselves, respond to the attitudes and needs of others, manage interpersonal issues skillfully, and solve problems promptly (Pitts & Socha, 2013).
In order to accomplish these relational milestones, the RE approach encourages the study and practice of skills, such as:
- Empathic (listening)
- Expressive (speaking)
- Discussion–negotiation (conversing)
- Problem–conflict resolution
- Self-change
- Helping others change
- Teaching or facilitation
- Generalization
- Maintenance skills
Although all these skills are important to the practical application of positive communication, we discuss only a few here:
Empathic listening
When listening, it’s paramount to focus all your attention on the other person and demonstrate appropriate nonverbal mannerisms. This is also a good time to focus on emotions, perceptions, needs, or wants (Pitts & Socha, 2013).
Leal (2017) believes preparation for empathic listening starts with empathic awareness:
- Recognize the inherent value and dignity of yourself and the other person.
- Foster a desire to want to listen and relate to the other person.
- Think of the other person in a positive light.
Humility resides in these components.
Expressive speaking
Pitts and Socha (2013) recommend responding empathically to the other person before expressing your own wants, needs, or feelings. Further, using assertive statements when sharing your own perceptions, needs, wants, or feelings enables communication transparency and builds trust.
Newberg and Waldman (2012, p. 123) discuss compassionate communication and list strategies they believe should be adhered to consistently. They include:
- Express appreciation.
- Speak warmly.
- Speak slowly.
- Speak briefly.
- Listen deeply.
2. Active Constructive Responding
The Active Constructive Responding worksheet reviews four types of responses we give when hearing the good news of others.
The four styles are passive-destructive, passive-constructive, active-destructive, and active-constructive. Examples of each of the styles are provided. Clients are asked to review the styles and reflect on which style they use in different relationships.
Responding to the other person’s good news using the active-constructive response style represents the ideal and shows components of positive communication outlined in this article.